he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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