real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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