girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize