I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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