HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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