I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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