I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
