You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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