Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
