So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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