Quick, to the slutcave!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
