Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
