so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
