haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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