okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
