This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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