i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize