I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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