No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
