yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
