Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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