he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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