i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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