Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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