My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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