she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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