Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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