I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
reminds me of losing my job
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type