just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?