FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?