Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo