jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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