I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
