i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
