I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
