just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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