I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
