Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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