you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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