So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
