Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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