My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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