make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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