she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
