So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize