On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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