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to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
