I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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