So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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