dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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