I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just want nice things and good sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
