DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
