I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
