Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
and you fell through a lawn chair
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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