and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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