she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We are two peas in an std pod
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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