Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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