her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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